Listen! Do you want to know a secret? (The Beatles)

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Shut up! Listening to other people is important!

How important? Well, according to Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic - how well and frequently you listen to others is a better predictor of your leadership potential than your actual intelligence or personality.

High quality listening is a rare commodity, though. That phrase, 'they like the sound of their own voice' is a thing.

Most* people are thinking about what they want to say next and not listening fully (*btw I have no research-based evidence for writing 'most' beyond that it feels right). I can see it in their body language.

This is human nature, I guess. Most* people are egocentric. In this modern world within which we work and live, we are often told to 'back ourselves', to express our inner voice, which results in being the centre of attention. That means a talk fest which often results in blather.  

Most* people don't seem to be able to resist the temptation to talk. That inner voice gets frustrated and the mouth opens. When that happens amongst a crowd, there is often no place for listeners. 

Okay, so what can be done about this?

Tomas' four enablers of high-quality listening bears repeating:

• Focus (give your undivided attention)
• Empathy (be open and considerate)
• Self-control (wait for the other person to finish)
• Inclusion (include the other person in your story)

Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us (Stephen Covey)

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It seems counter-intuitive, but workload is the number one cause of stress at work.

Mostly this kind of stress has a positive vibration - at a moderate level, positive stress can make us more alert, stay motivated, and work towards goals.

For instance, I feel a positive stress to help my at-risk students improve their grades. This means working closely with several students, finding their motivation points, tracking data and having conversations with teachers to find appropriate strategies.

This kind of challenge/stress focuses our attention, talent and energy. 

Negative stress can happen when too much is expected and people get overwhelmed, or if the work piles up continually without time to reduce the pile.

It seems obvious - but too many tasks prevent people working well if there is no time for reflection.

I've found that the more conscientious a person is, the more they struggle to turn bad stress around into good stress and then end up unwell, not sleeping, making errors, and then potentially becoming below the line people (blaming others and coming up with excuses).

Reflection time is a must have. We all need it.

So, how can bad stress be turned back into good stress?

Some of these ideas may help:

• Acknowledging workload stress is a good start
• Consciously keep above the line thinking going (ownership, not blame)
• Manage the workload, don't control it. Prioritise (I don't use to do lists but some of my colleagues do - one even keeps a done list - whatever works for you)
• Take a meaningful pause (I aim to go for a walk three times a week to exercise and clear the head)
• Eat healthily (a piece of fruit each day helps)
• Decide if it's good stress or not
• Don't fight it - acceptance that the tasks will never stop coming is affirming with the right mindset
• Say no if you need to. Push back on deadlines (someone else's urgent/importance may not be yours)
• Manage your emails (touch them only once)
• Delegate tasks if you can (but beware loading up on others workload)
• Laugh a lot! It will keep you sane.
• Seek support - others may have already walked those steps or else have some good ideas.

Good luck as you navigate the path to good stress!

I see Warren every weekend, he makes a living as a fisherman (Cassandra Jenkins)

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Discussions at home recently have had me thinking about what motivates me. I notice 'motivation' has been a regular topic in this blog over the years but I've mainly concentrated on what motivates students - not what motivates me. So here goes with my top 5 (they are in random order as I thought of them):

• A sense of purpose - I need to know/feel that what I am doing fulfils a purpose. This is to me a basic human need. I'd like to think that we are all wanting to achieve something worthwhile while we live on Planet Earth.
• Fresh challenges - I need to feel that I am continuing to grow as a professional. My length of time spent in schools has never exceeded five years. I crave fresh challenges. Reinventions if you like.
• The serving others/ leading others combo is very seductive - I need that combo. I tried to step back from it once and within a short amount of time I was itching for a wider leadership role. According to my LinkedIn friends, it's just me.
• I need to know my skills are being utilised to the fullest. When they are not, I get itchy feet.
• I like to get proper recognition for good work (but this is a nice to have, not a must have).

That about sums up what motivates me and it's pretty clear, isn't it, that for many reasons, I thrive on intrinsic motivation. 

It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do (Steve Jobs)

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I've always been slightly perplexed by job descriptions. Often, they don't appear to have much relationship with the actual job. After a while, the realities of the job take over from the Job Description and employees don't look at it ever again.

For instance, I've seen a lengthy official Job Description for my support staff, but they had to hunt for it to show me and it came in multiple parts.

So, to combat that scenario, each year I've had meetings with my support staff to ascertain what they actually do in their job. The 'real' job description extrapolates out from the official one (which exhaustively covers all possible bases) with tasks and specific areas of responsibility.

The 'real' one changes each year as people come and go and is co-constructed with the people in the jobs. It suits individual strengths and weaknesses and isn't a document to keep people accountable. Instead, it's an informational document for the support staff and the teaching staff to know who is doing what and how the job matters.

It's quite powerful when purpose is aligned with tasks.

I find it very, very easy to be true. I find myself alone when each day is through (Johnny Cash)

Above the line thinking is today's subject. 

Although I've written about this idea previously, I haven't posted that infographic before.

I am reminded about this daily as that infographic is on the staffroom wall by the exit door.

Swiss Miss also posted a link to a video in a recent newsletter that includes this philosophy. It's worth a look.

Above the line thinking. A constant challenge.

Nothing in life is as important as you think it is, while you are thinking about it (Daniel Kanneman)

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I caught myself overthinking something this week and that's rare for me (it took me a while to even realise I was overthinking too. Again - rare). 

It's of interest to me why I did that and what I can do next time. 

So, I went to my go-to - Dan Rockwell, for some advice and here's what he has come up with:

The more you think about something, the bigger it becomes. 

The sooner you act, the clearer you become.

Focus on thinking, get more thinking.
Focus on action, get results.

Action creates clarity. Inaction magnifies confusion.

Thanks Dan. One for me to file away and pull out when needed.

Opportunities, opportunities, you've gotta take them whenever you can (The Divine Comedy)

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I thought I'd share this little pearl today. It's from James Clear's weekly newsletter.

It comes from husband and wife combo, Benjamin Zander, a longtime conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra, and Rosamund Zander, a family therapist, on the power of point of view:

“Every problem, every dilemma, every dead end we find ourselves facing in life, only appears unsolvable inside a particular frame or point of view. Enlarge the box, or create another frame around the data, and problems vanish, while new opportunities appear.”

Source: The Art of Possibility