Look through any window yeah, what do you see? Smiling faces all around rushin' through the busy town (The Hollies)

Photo by Nicolas Solerieu on Unsplash

Recently, I was involved in some professional development that used something called the Johari Window. I was asked to discover who I was based on selecting six adjectives from a list. 

Hmmm, I may have reservations about this, however, I can reveal to you my chosen six were: adaptable; calm; cheerful; friendly; dependable; reflective. These go into my Open window.

Others then gave their version of me and while some went for similar adjectives, a few selected 'bold'. This went into my Blind window. Now, I'm not sure what 'bold' means to different people, but maybe I am. It's not how I see myself and that is the point.

Apart from that, Johari's (four pane) Window (the other two are Façade and Unknown) was interesting, but I'm still keen to know where I take it from here.

Something I've known for a looooong time is that I'm a relationships/narrative guy. I'm not a data driven guy, in that, while I can analyse data and produce theses to test, I tend to be suspicious of it all.

When I'm presented with a long succession of statistical tables my eyes tend to glaze over. I'm better with the pictorial graphs of trends. They glaze over because tables/graphs don't tend to include the narrative, nor reveal the relationships, and so, I find myself getting frustrated.

Another thing I know is that I like systems, but they need to have a purpose and for me that means serving people. For that reason I belong in a job like teaching - serving others. I could never run my own business.

Which all serves to point to a fundamental bias - I'm an English teacher. I have a Master's degree in that area and a few post-graduate diplomas and degrees in Educational Management that focused on qualitative research, not quantitative.

Basically, I prefer words to numbers. I'm just built that way. 

It's gonna take time - a whole lot of precious time, it's gonna take patience and time, um to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it (George Harrison)

Photo by Deniz Altindas on Unsplash

Beginning life in a new school as a leader can be a tricky business. You know no one, and no one knows you.

Starting with the end product in mind is key for me. Simply put: I love working in a team that has each other's back.

I'm talking about great relationships. And that takes patience and time.

According to Dan Rockwell, the first of seven competencies for success is: 

Build Relationship:

• Create partnerships.
• Build trust.
• Share ideas.

Strong relationships shrink problems caused by personal agendas, office politics, and distrust, he says.

I like how he frames that with a strong verb. Build implies a process over time.

But how do you build relationships? There are no easy answers or quick fixes.

It takes time and experience for co-workers to earn trust and develop mutual respect; to create a safe climate that welcomes ideas, diversity, and the opinions of others.

Does an environment of open communication foster all that, or does all that trust and openness lead to open and honest communication.  Which comes first? 

Some people have a natural openness that creates trust quickly. When Karen Boyes set up random groups during her Teacher Academy two years ago, I joined three other staffers and we instantly hit it off and instantly had each other's backs.

Now, that was partly how Karen set up the activities and a climate of trust, but it was also a fluke of personalities.

It all comes down to relationships. And patience and time.  

Hello, it's me (Todd Rundgren)

Relationships matter in teaching.

I realised early on in my career that teaching is all about having good relationships and good communication. The two are inextricably linked!

Relationships are about chemistry. Sometimes it's a good mix, and sometimes it's a combustible reaction. And it's all points in between. We're human and (ha ha) they're teenagers (I teach at a girls' secondary school). I'm male and (ha ha) they're female.

Teachers don't always get it right and students don't always get it right. That's where the fun begins.

We've just had teacher parent student interviews. What exhausting fun. 

During this latest set, it struck me what a diverse set of relationships are at play in those interviews: student/teacher; daughter/mum; daughter/father; husband/wife; parent/teacher. Fascinating!

Anyway...made me think about stuff and I remembered an article  I bookmarked recently. It set out four ways to form good relationships with students:

1 Say "Hello". 
I was chatting with a colleague recently who told me she doesn't say "hello" to a student unless she gets one first. I don't work that way.

2 Have a conversation
Sometimes students react with surprise when the conversation continues beyond "Sup?" [It's a bit like checkout operators in food markets after they ask me "How's your day going?" and I launch into a conversation ("Hey thanks for asking. Well I woke up at 5am and had a great breakfast. I really like cereal on a weekday. Blah blah blah.)] Give it a go!

3 Meet kids where they are.
I always travel to where they are during my lunchtime duties - the library, computer rooms, tech rooms and so on. When I was a Principal I always did duty and went to the known smokers' hang outs. Basketball courts are popular. Amazing the effect a Principal can have when they join in the basketball games!

4 Be real.
Kids see through artifice quickly. Their BS detector is on high alert during the teenage years. Save yourself a lot of grief and be real.

Nice!

A little bit of heaven never hurt no one (John Mayer)

My friend Toni Westcott wrote a nifty post on her blog recently about relationships. Toni says: Getting to know students both socially and academically is crucial. 

She is so right.

I have been at Woodford House for nearly two terms now and the relationships are improving all the time. You can't beat time spent getting to know the students in different contexts.

Taking a football team (or any extra-curricular activity) is a huge way to improve relationships that translate to improved relationships in the classroom.

That's been the case this term. My football team had a very successful season with (I think) only two losses. Better than that - the relationships between team mates and between them all and me evolved and gelled over the course of the season.

The girls had an informal prize giving recently and gave me a signed football for my efforts. Fantastic! Anyone reading the messages on the football would be puzzled as the in-jokes and funny moments during the season were seized upon, but that little moment meant a lot to me - it was evidence of relationship strengthening and connection.

The longer I am a teacher, the more it is apparent how key it is to have positive relationships.

I had to do some research recently on my Y12 English class. I looked at their PATs from Year 9 and other data. One girl who has done outstanding work this year under trying personal circumstances was not a strong Y9 English student.

When I asked her about it she said words to the effect that she improved a lot when she began loving English because of the relationships she'd gradually established with her teachers.

Toleja! There it is - the key to happiness and success. Relationships!

Gotta make it through the tunnel, got a meeting with the man on the other side (Bruce Springsteen)

A colleague sent me a link to an article on the CNN site recently. I read it, liked it and then began reading another one on knowing your leadership superpower. I'm a sucker for this kind of pop culture reference.

http://edition.cnn.com/2012/01/25/business/rttt-superpower/

I love the central idea about identifying working with your core strengths rather than your weaknesses. They are of course standard interview questions - what are your strengths (leadership powers)? What are your weaknesses (kryptonite factors)? But this article suggests turning that second question around and saying - forget about your weaknesses and play to your core strengths.

Got me to thinking about my own leadership power.

It's difficult for us to focus on strengths but this week I've been farewelled in a variety of ways and my friends and colleagues have focused on a common superpower - my ability to build relationships.

It seems I have hit on the the right balance, where I can play to my own strengths and let my team play to theirs.

Perhaps that's why, when I was growing up, my favourite comic book superheros were The Fantastic Four.

It's a story of husband and wife, brother and sister and brother-in-law, and friendship. The team play to their individual strengths but only win against the evil doers when they combine their powers.