Man battered in fish shop.

I've just finished the fourth volume of Gervase Phinn's recollections of his time as a school inspector of English in Yorkshire. This one's called Up and Down in the Dales.

All four books have been very similar but they've also been very enjoyable. Some of the stories from his inspections are a real laugh and the recurring bit players (Sidney and David, Connie, Mrs Savage and so on) are now familiar comfortable old shoes of characters.

Along the way Gervase and his wife Christine collect funny headlines (like the post's title) from their local paper and various signs for use in after dinner speeches. They are a hoot:

Sign on a visitors' centre - Please Leave Heather For All To Enjoy.

An advertisement - An opportunity to join an expanding contracting firm.

Another - Are you going places in aluminium foil?

And - Street lighting engineers - two posts.

Some catchy headlines - Captain Fuches off to Antartica.

And my favourite one of all - Body in the garden is a plant, says woman.