The amazing opening six seconds of I Feel Fine by George Harrison on guitar

Photo by Wynand van Poortvliet on Unsplash

Feedback. Of the non musical variety.

Yeah, nah - I've never been a fan. Whether it be good or bad. Except on very rare occasions (Roger Moses, Terry Heaps, Colin Prentice: all were great at it).

Why is that?

Well, it all comes down to two things: relationships and communication.

Because, as George Couros says - to be effective feedback on my performance would need to be 'anchored in fairness, focus, and frequency'.

Fairness is about trust. Yes: Relationships. When trust and fairness are absent, I retreat into protection mode. Therefore, generally, in the past I have tended to associate feedback with criticism. 

Focus is about making the feedback specific, targeted, and brief. Yes: Communication. I appreciate bite-sized portions of off-the-cuff gratitude or recognition thanks.

Frequency is the accelerator. Informal and spontaneous is the secret to frequency.

Even with these three in place, I still find feedback tough to receive. My problems are that I either get very defensive minded, or I haven't believed the feedback is sincere (beware false flattery), or I don't believe the hype.

The trick in giving feedback to others would be to prove that I am trying to help guide them forward because I value them and have their backs. 

In other words: get the relationships right, then communicate effectively and appropriately!

And that, my friends, is worth doing!